Your life has a trajectory and a desired outcome. There are things that only you can do. Is life hard? Incredibly at points. But nothing should ever be so hard where you think or believe you can’t go on.
Am I aware there are things in this life which such the joy and light from it? Yes. Are their days so dark where darker seems more comfortable? Sure. Are your feelings valid? Yes.
BUT THE DARK DOES PASS.
Black children disproportionately bare the brunt of the world. Black children, our children, my children, are told from birth what they are not, what they are, and given ceilings, fences or combination locks to what they can be. They are told in a thousand different ways to simply be black is a determinant to any success they may ever have.
They are told to be eloquent is to be soft, to be soft, to be articulate is to be ‘acting white’ and to demand equality from people whom hold position and power is not possible. They are told their pain doesn’t matter.
THEY ARE TOLD THEIR PAIN DOESN’T MATTER.
Even within the walls of their own homes, we as black parents, with all the best intentions, minimize how they feel because in our own family histories our own feelings were minimized! We were told it didn’t matter that we were hurt, mad, upset! When you tell a child their emotions don’t matter, you erode a portion of themselves away. And there are some of us (myself included) whom are parents now who are healing from those soul wounds as well.
What I have chosen to do is to allow space for my children, to be children. This means I give them space to emote, to respond, and to be children. I need them to know they matter, so when things happen to them, they have someone whom is plugged into them, loves them, and won’t judge them when life becomes hectic and they may be unsure as to what to do next. I want my children to know they have space and right to live, feel and ask for help.
Sometimes the bravest thing we can give our children is space to know they are loved, and giving them the very thing we may not have been able to have. My faith tells me that love covers a multitude of sins, and it never fails. Black children need to know that they are loved beyond measure, and they can do all they set their minds to do! That is not an option just given to and for children whom do not have parents whom are people of color.
Love is miraculous. It is an ongoing work. It is a rescuing factor in the lives of so many people. That chance should be extended to children of color. There should be a place of safety black children find in and with their families where they know they are loved, accepted and suicide is not an option because life is always an option. Even with a world they inhabit that thinks nothing of them, we should not cultivate a position which makes us at peace with throwing them away.
Suicide cheapens life. It robs our children of whom they will become. In cases where therapy is needed, allow them to go! Take advantage of services which will help them! I am a women of faith and believe in the power of prayer, and I also know to pray depression away doesn’t always work! Some of us are healed as we go! And that too is a form of healing. That, too, is important.
The lives of black children are important. Those of us whom love them, raise them and care for them, need to remember that, all while we give boundaries and expectations. We are their guardians of their futures, their childhoods, their lighthouses and soft places. We as parents, aunts, uncles, and grandparents must provide that to them. It is of no benefit to raise a child, because they are black, in a way that makes them devoid of empathy, personal responsibility and the inability to cope with change or trauma.
Love black children because they deserve it, and the world has purposed they not be worthy of it. Love is a radical act, beloveds. So do it often.