I have always had a smattering of really good girl friends, and more guy friends than anything. It was odd. Probably because growing up I had more male cousins to play with than anything, and while I knew how to jump rope, I knew how to catch, too.
The thing that I keep noticing among a lot of the guys in my world is…regret.
I mean this palpable regret. This social moping of the ‘loss’ of their loves of their lives, or girls that they really liked but never went for, and this resolve that they are going to be that old dude in the club chasing skirts.
To them, I say this: Shoot your shot, B.
Meaning, go after what you want, or who you want. I’m not saying stalk her or be clingy and inappropriate, but I am saying take initiative. Now, I can’t speak for everyone, but I can tell you this. Confidence is always attractive.
Yes, it is.
It’s a beautiful thing when I man tells you that you’re on his radar.
When I was dating the hubs, our very first phone conversation, he said something slick to me, and I checked him–like, knee jerk check!–and he was like, “Baby, baby…” I said, “Hold on, I’m your woman!”
You know what he told me?
But there is something to be said for being bold, though! So, let’s use the hubs pursuit of me to help you a little bit:
1.) KNOW WHAT YOU WANT.
The worst thing other wasted money and talent? Wasted time. If you don’t want a girlfriend/woman/wife the don’t entertain the woman who’s looking to be a someone’s girlfriend/woman/wife.
2.) STUDY HER.
Find out what she likes and doesn’t like. Hold random conversations. Pick her brain. It let’s her know she’s important. Always a good thing, fellas.
3.) PURSUE HER.
This is where you get nervous, right?
Will she? 🙂
This is where you gotta commit, love. No way around it. If she’s who you want? It’s easier to get a quick “No,” than deal with a 15 year “I should have.”
If she’s into you, you’ll know. It won’t be forced. Now, hard to get is an age old thing, and I did that with the hubs. How did he overcome it?
He legit told me I was who he wanted, and no matter what I did to shake him? Nope.
Stop lamenting and being mad the one you want is living her life. Go get her!
Tell her she’s pretty one morning!
Make her laugh!
Listen to her.
Find her favorite flower and give them to her…just because.
Discover the minutiae about her. I promise you, for every beautiful woman, there’s a portion of her that needs to be spoken to and recognized…beyond the pretty.
Pursue her beyond the pretty.
PURSUE HER BEYOND THE PRETTY.
Once you do that, you can stop lamenting about the “one that got away,” because you’ll have her.
And if she doesn’t see what you offer?
Keep it pushing.
She’ll realize what she loss sooner than you think.
Especially, when she realizes you were really the one she wanted…