Time is most irrecoupable thing you have. You are granted so much of it, waste it, and then there is no more of it. In being able to love yourself, the hardest part of loving yourself is being able to forgive yourself. There is no one whom can punish and hate you like you can yourself. We are often strong enough to lash out at other people, but are we strong enough to not lash inward?
We lash out, hate ourselves often over lost time. Realizing you have invested into something which is ultimately squandered, is hard. The hardest thing is to admit it was you whom squandered, you who didn’t listen, and it is now you that must fix it. However, in that honesty, you still cannot save or regain the time you have lost.
This is the hardest thing. It is so difficult because we as people want so badly to save things, hoard them, use them as we see fit–time is not one of those things. Time is the thing we hustle for, grab it, and lose for the lack of paying attention.
In forgiving yourself, you allow yourself to see there are two points of time along this journey. There is the time you lost, and the time you now have. Which direction shall you go?
In choosing to remain fixed on what is lost, and cannot be changed, you will never be able to see what lies before you in the time you have. Forgiving yourself is the beginning of readjusting our focus. It begins to allow you to see the situation in which you lost time as an experience you learned from, will learn from and not to do again.
Forgiving yourself allows you to heal from that loss of time and self.
By no means is this easy, I promise you it isn’t. But in order for you to go on and go greater things, you must be willing to admit where you are benefits nothing. Being resentful of lost time only makes you lose more time.
You are entitled to having a history.
However only you are doomed to repeat it.