So…this is legit where we are now? This is the state of the nation in the face of #MeToo? We still have trashass dudes defending what is and what is not rape?
This photo was taken from my personal Facebook account two days ago, and I was incensed. And when writers get incensed, we let the whole world know. What I find so disheartening and angering about this is the cavalier nature these young men (Loose. Term.) and their non-respect of women and the hunger to sexual gratification. The sheer fact that all men have a mother somewhere would even create or be part of a hashtag that says #ItAintRape.
I read this and was horrified. From that horror, as a mother, went to rage with a litany of curse words. The entitlement of this hashtag, of the audacity of the male bravado wrapped in sexual privilege? Bruh, it was like nothing else.
One of the best people on planet Earth, fellow writer Angel Carter, in the age of #MeToo did a brilliant post on Facebook and titled it #YouTrashToo. Men who do not value women, whom believe “No” isn’t a word that applies to them, or to women that have to be drugged or in some way impaired to be had. Yes, that makes you trash, bruh. Cheap GLAD bag quality trash!
What gives consent its power is the autonomy it grants–it give a full physical stop to what it going on. It is a revoking of the right to have your privacy or personal space invaded. It revokes the decision power of another person over your life and what you decided to do before another opportunity presented itself. In taking consent from a woman, makes you trash. Having your identity as a male determined by your penis and our sexual body count makes you that much less of man.
Y’all are better than this, mane!
Y’all are better than this. The thing is, what I need to know, what my daughters who will be women need to know, do y’all believe you are!
It takes a special kind of deviant to take someone else’s body, man; especially when you have the biologic ability to determine the sex of a child. Meaning, you perpetuate a culture which can put your own daughter at risk. Rather than be a force in your sphere of influence, it’s safer to be trash because nothing is expected of you. Rather than be called soft, or gay or a pussy (the same thing you stalkin’ doe!) it’s easier to fit in or keep quiet. And some men wonder why women say, “Men aint shit.”
When you take away a woman’s right to own or possess or give consent to her body, the only thing she was born with which she will take with her, you give the adage that men ain’t shit roots, fruit and orchards.
If she don’t want you, bruh. You need to sit with that. If she doesn’t want to sleep with you, you need go sit with that. Men need to grasp the concept of “No”, and not see it always rejection–but preference. Spoiled children take and cannot be taught to cope. If y’all keep holl’in about what real men do–then Imma need the men of #ItAintRape to find out if their manhood is determined by action or is only as long as what hangs between their legs.
We as mothers, sisters, daughters and friends are tired of telling our daughters how to dress their bodies, conduct themselves, cover up to minimize being accosted, assumed interest or raped. In this climate–it’s always the girl’s fault. So to minimize that, you get apologize by fashion, by being pleasant and letting your inner Nene Leakes be heard, and if he calls you name because you won’t someone undeserving of what is so precious to you: you said what you said.
You have enough to worry about, Sis. Trashass dudes should not be on top of that list.
[Top image by author, article images from Google]