The closer I get to my Double Twenty birthday (read I’m almost 40), the more adamant I become about my space and the people in it. In the midst of the female empowerment and the ‘dismantling’ of toxic patriarchy, I see this low-humor as it relates to men and their shortcomings.
Don’t get me wrong, some of this critique is warranted! There is a need for the male of the species for lack of better, softer phrasing to just DO BETTER. It is most taxing to be a woman attracted to men, and then be treated as less than, invisible or super rejected because you refuse to dummy down for company or bed warming. It’s time out for that. Women are more than to be buxom and in utter sexual want that nothing else and nothing less can a woman be.
Cut that out, bruh.
It is time out for those of the male persuasion to call a woman a name or try and hurt her because she tells you “no.” Stop that madness, yo.
It’s not cute to pull out on a girl that tells you she doesn’t want you. Grow up, mane. Grow up.
In this, before y’all say, “Get em sis!”, hold on for this retort. We as women can’t gas each other up saying what “all men” are. We can’t do that. Some of us are sisters to brothers, friends, mothers and wives. We can’t be a part of the coven which says what all men are. It offers no substance, no help, and if overheard by a husband, son or brother? It can be detrimental. Of course one would tell me, “Well they are men! Males have had it so much more easy than a woman will ever have it! Misogyny is the hobby of patriarchy!”
To this I offer this wisdom. Could it be with the teaching of what men should be, including the respector, protector of women this idol of ‘rightful’ misogyny can be pushed over? And the strawman of male supremacy be burned?
It profits me nothing to bash men under the premise of getting their attention to do better. That’s not what I do over here. I am a wife, a mother, a godmother and a sister to several brothers. I want the men in my life to do better, to know they matter, and are needed. I want them to be accountable, be better husbands and friends. That cannot happen if I repeatedly tell you what you are not or will become.
Take the words and heart of your big sister. Do better: I wouldn’t ask you to do better if I didn’t believe you could. Be mindful of how you treat people, what you lend your support and voice to and for. Own all your emotions and emote! You have the right to cry and ask for help. In the physical strength God has given you, work on the emotional strength.
Manhood is what you determine it. The shrews in your ears are not those whom shape you–what you allow to resonate, you own and may become. Be accountable for that. As fond of I am of superheroes, and their powers. I want all my male Firestarters to be better–indeed be better men–the world needs better men. Tony Stark has bigger problems.
[image from Google]