I miss watching my Dad and my uncles play basketball together. Growing up, I saw my Dad and his brothers play ball all the time.
They were loud.
They were laughing trash-talkers.
They won all the time.
Sometimes, I’d get my whole life listening to my Dad and his best friend argue over Tekken. I remember their excitement when Tekken 2 came out. They were hype like children! It was so fun to watch. I remember thinking, “I hope my husband is like this.” Fun and loud and friendly.
My Dad used to work out a lot. He was still fat as hell, but he worked out because it made him feel good and powerful. It made him feel like he was exerting power over his circumstances. I could see that then and can appreciate it now.
I feel like a lot of men don’t engage in self-care routines anymore. Hanging out with other dudes is ‘gay’ or ‘lame’. Nobody is playing ball together anymore. They don’t even play video games in the same room anymore! Every thing they do with each other is online.
I feel like the brotherhood that was born from the self care patterns of the 90’s has sort of lost its way. You don’t see men getting down with each other and uplifting each other in large numbers like we used to.
I want to see y’all playing basketball and barbecuing for your families again. This is why my brother and sisters are so adamant about family time: playing cards, talking trash and making food together. It’s a form of self-care you can’t get or see anywhere else. In loving yourself and others consistently without the bling, violence, homophobia and misogyny–we get to just love and life with like-minded people.
I want you to love life again, and remember there is a world outside of Xbox and PS4.
I want y’all to get back to being dope as fuck! I want y’all to get back to the place of really knowing what life is outside of what you see on the news or the internet. If you don’t take time to socialize, relate and emote leads to other toxic behaviors like aggression and depression. Y’all need to take time to socialize without a phone or a controller. I want black men to remember what family is, what culture looks like, and their presence is a part of it. I want y’all to love yourselves again, find joy again and share that black boy joy–just like Chance The Rapper.
Come back to the world, y’all. Come back to the world.
[Image from Google, 123RF Photos]