In the world of Love & Hip Hop of wherever, it is a blessing to see relationships in the public eye can last–without public fights, drama and inspired drink throwing. The thing is, the current culture loves to celebrate the people whom have been together twenty plus years—but have no idea what it means to stay together with one person for as the vows say–as long as you both shall live.
The couples that have always given me hope of something lasting, the faith to believe this could happen for me, are all famous save for my parents. The couples that I look at are Denzel and Paulette Washington. Ossie Davis and Ruby Dee. Courtney B. Vance and the goddess herself, Angela Bassett. And my current favorites: Sterling K. Brown and his wife Ryan Michelle Bathe. In a January Essence Magazine online article, Ryan details that when she and Sterling married in June 2007 how he wanted their marriage to be different. Ryan Michelle said this:
“Sterling told me he wanted a relationship that others could ‘see God in’ and that ‘inspired people to love each other and want to be married’.
Indeed, Ryan. Indeed.
Too often in the current culture we don’t see this. We don’t see how we love one another in a way that is unbashed. Every time you see Ryan and Sterling, they look content. Sterling looks at her how F. Scott Fitzgerald says Gatsby looked at Daisy Buchanon: “He looked at her how every girl wants to be looked at.” Ryan gasses him up, supports him and he never fails to honor her. To say he loves her. To tell her that she is his everything.
That affection, that long-standing affection seeing in the marriages of these couples, does my heart so good. So often, Black love isn’t displayed in the public eye. Sometimes, outside of our own home, this type of love is a myth. Yet, it exists.
With its existence, that means that I, as a Black woman, am entitled to it. I deserve it. And it is possible. And I’m glad that I saw it in front of me with my parents only to be reflected now with Sterling and Ryan.