Your queer friends are not props.
The ninth Black transwoman this year was murdered this week. As a mother, I cannot begin to comprehend the murder of your child by such violence.
I am a Black cisgender heterosexual woman. I have and continue to walk through the world as a beautiful Black cis woman. I cannot imagine what it is like to look in the mirror and not understand what you see–that your mind and body not matching. I cannot imagine the struggle that ensues trying to make mind and body match.
With that said, the rampant deaths of trans women is devastating to me. The assault on transpeople is devastating to me! The fact that these people look like me–is doubly hurtful. The worse part? These Black transpeople are being assaulted and killed people that look like them.
Make this make sense.
Son Of Baldwin made the call to arms on his page on Friday, June 7, 2019 (see below):
At this point, it is not enough to scroll past the news pieces of murdered queer/trans people! It is not enough to share the hashtags! It is no longer sufficient to say “I know transpeople.”
I am tired of hearing my community talk about how transwomen are out here ‘tricking people’. I am tired of hearing transwomen and transmen deadnamed when all they want to do is live! We have to get beyond this obsession with who people sleep with and how the parts fit together.
What must happen is the culture must shift from suspicion to respect. It’s not your business if the woman next to you in bathroom is trans. It’s not your business is the dude cutting your hair is a transman! It is not your business!
Also, let us stop assaulting and killing people because you feel your manhood was assaulted because you were tricked. If you get to an intimate space with someone and they aren’t what you expect? That does not give you the right to put hands on them to end their life!
We have to teach out young men and women that different, being different, doesn’t mean it must be destroyed. Your manhood, your theology should not be so steeped in hate that the respect for life outside of your own is non-existent!
I’ll say this for the people in the front, back and cheap seats, and I’ll repeat it as necessary:
Let people live! Learn to leave people alone. You don’t have to date, like or have to be intimate with. If the young transperson doesn’t disclose to you immediately, there’s a reason. And safety is always a concern.
You could always do what my mother says when faced with dating situations like this: “Thanks, but no thanks.” Harming someone should not be the immediate reaction. Taking someone’s life under the Gay Panic Defense is ridiculous. It costs you nothing to leave people alone.
Leave people alone more often. Being kind is still free.