Two years ago, I started what I called #TheFatherlessTribe. This was a hashtag for the support of those whom has lost their fathers. It was a hashtag of acknowledgment, love and sympathy.
Last year, 2018, marks 20 years without my father. This year, I want to celebrate all the living fathers.
As a daughter, now a mother, whom is a wife, I want to encourage you. I want to encourage you all in these three areas.
Boldness. TD Jakes said it’s real hard to be a man. I cannot imagine what it is like to be male. But what I can record is what I have remembered from the men in my life. Fatherhood requires a level of assurance and steadfastness that can break you. You have to model strength and power without being a tyrant. You have to know when to roar and when to cover. The boldness needed to be a father is something you will grow into, I promise. This little person that grew inside someone else needs you to be able to identify monsters, and tell them how to slay them. Find your bravery, dear one. Find it so that boldness may become your armor.
Support. Seeing a doctor, doing therapy, regular exercises, even Iron-Man, and Captain America needed Fury and the Avengers! You are entitled to need help, to have vulnerable moments and to not know what to do next. You are entitled to all portions of your masculinity and manhood. You have he right to need help, to ask for help. You have the right to have hobbies, people that love you and know when your swag is off. You have the right to be, and that be enough.
Love. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love keeps no record of wrongdoing. Love never fails. You are entitled to love and to be loved. Beyond sex. Beyond lust. Beyond what your pockets give. Conversely, love should not be pushed to inhuman limits just to see what you can get away with! Love is not manipulative or to be wielded with ill intent. You have the power within you to love deeply and often. Take time to heal if you need it. Don’t hide from pain; emoting doesn’t make you less of a man. Your kids need to feel and see that they are loved. Give them all you have.
From the girl that still misses her Daddy, and still has to struggle to remember him sometimes, your kids need you. Your laughter. Your humanity. Your humility and honor. Make memories with them. Apologize to they. Correct them, because that, too, is love!
You’re going to be a great Dad.
I believe in you, dear one.
The world grows darker by the day. Be light. And when needed? Get your vibranium.
[image from Pinterest]