The 4 Elements Of A Great Man

I struggled with the starting line of this article. Not because I didn’t have the words, but because I had too many words.

Provider.

Protector.

Loving.

Compassionate.

Hard-working.

Super freaking intelligent.

Chill, and a great friend.

These are some of the adjectives to describe Le Var (respect the space in his name). You may think I’m biased in my description of him because we have been rocking in a friendship for 20+ years. I would say you’re probably right. But then again, if you knew him, you would describe him the same way.

Le Var As a friend.

The phrase “They broke the mold when they created you” comes to mind when I think of him and how he maneuvers in his friendships. He is the friend that will put all of his personal feelings and opinions aside to help out a friend in need. One night, he and I were hanging out a bar/club having a really good time. We were laughing at other drunk people dancing offbeat; guys trying to shoot their shots at girls and failing; just vibing to the music. He got a call from a friend that turned foe a few months prior. This former friend’s car broke down. Without hesitation, Le Var was telling me he had to go and help him out. Now, in my head (and possibly out loud), I was saying, “The nerve of this dude calling him when he needs help as if they are cool!” Within minutes, Le Var was heading out to help.

In the Black community, we tend to throw around the title of godparent without full thought just because of our close relationship/friendship with the person. When in fact, we all know that godparent(s) are the person(s) who will take over parental responsibility of your child(ren) in the event of your untimely demise. Unfortunately in 2012, Le Var had to take on that role when his best friend passed away leaving behind a wife and 2 kids. Although his godchildren lived over 2,000 miles away, that has never stopped him from making regular visits. Or being right there in times of need: opening his wallet if needed, or just calling to check on them.

Le Var As a Son.

I constantly crack jokes with him about the things I know his mother is going to ask him to do when he comes in town. There are times he calls me venting about something his mother has done to frustrate him. Only to turn around an hour later to tell me he is going to take his mom’s car to get an oil change or car wash. I questioned him one day about why he never says “No” to some of her request/demands. He simply replied, “That’s my Mom”. I should also add that he loves his grandmother with the same intensity.

Le Var As An Employee.

Have you ever known someone that puts their all into whatever task they are assigned? If not, you are getting to know someone now. As it is for most of us, finding a career path that we love doesn’t come without trial, error, and growth. He has always had a knack for technological things and it was his job at Myspace that lead him to the world of Cyber Security which he loves so much. Just recently, while he was on vacation, I made a bet with him that he would not be able to go the entire week without working at some point.

As you can guess, I won that bet.

That drive and determination is the major component to why his career is where it is now. He looks back at his career path and is proud of his professional journey and the lateral growth.

Le Var As a Father.

“Babies can have a stronger bond with Dad while the mother is pregnant”. Le Var and I had a heated debate about this statement a few years back. I was so out done by his thought process on this topic that I had to literally ASK FACEBOOK (before it became a thing). No matter what facts I presented, he wasn’t having it. He is a father of 2 girls and in his eyes, mind, heart (and delusion), his bond with his girls was strong while they were in utero.

Regardless of the activities his girls are involved in, he is there not only supporting, but on whatever committee may be associated with it. We have seen a few of the viral videos where the fathers dance in ballet class with their daughters. We say “aww” while smiling and having our hearts melt. He’s one of those Dads; whether he needs to wear a tutu or a referee jersey. He has become the president of a school booster board to ensure his oldest daughter’s Senior year in high school on the color guard team was as successful as possible.

He coached his youngest daughter’s soccer team all while knowing nothing about being a soccer coach. Baby girl asked and Daddy delivered. While both girls keep him busy in their many activities, he always goes above and beyond to be there to support them. All while rallying his extended family to be intermutual in the experiences. All of his efforts, support, and proficient parenting tactics are transparent in the academic success of his girls.

I hope I was able to give you good insight and validation on why I consider Le Var to be such a great man!

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