One of my favorite lines in all of hip-hop is from the International Player’s Anthem: “Keep your heart, Three Sacks.”
Self-care involves more than bubble baths, sleeping late and spa days. One of the most radical things you can do as a part of self-care is heal. This means being aware of things, people, and situations which are harmful or counter productive. It means being aware of things and people that deposit poison into your spirit. That pour doubts into you, snatch your dreams in favor of keeping you in a state much like they are.
You have to be aware that everyone that has access to you doesn’t need it. There are relationships which are weighted, bitter and add no value to your life which you may be afraid to sever. But, do not be! You need you before you can give any part of you away!
You need you before you can give any part of you away!
Be aware of what you give your energy to, and what give you energy. What invigorates you. What anchors you. What makes you feel amazing and fulfilled! What are you guarding your heart against? What do you open it to receive?
Things that take from your energy could be having dinner with a parent who is hypercritical. Spending time on social media rather than interacting with the world around you–especially, if you have people in your time or news feed whom always have something negative to say or share! But the thing which can be most insidious is the people you vent to or you allow to entertain/support your inner most thoughts!
Our spaces, our intimate spaces, are where we are most vulnerable. Where we are most likely to be blind sighted by someone we knew we could trust! When I say space, this means anywhere that your body and mind inhabit at the same time.
That is your space.
This is what you are charged to keep!
Those you invite into this space need to respect all that you are. This means with an without your clothes. This means understanding of your dreams, not a heat-seeking missile to destroy them because they have none of their own. People in your timeline that make you wince when you read any post or see their name–get rid of them.
The things which take from you, will never serve you.
The things which have taken from you, which did not serve you, will only add more heartache to you. They will only continue to take from you until you decide your well-being matters more than what other people think or need from you. Realizing when and how you have hurt, take the time or space needed to become whole again. Realize what you need, and be prepared to go after it. Be prepared to recognize what is toxic and what is transformative! If something disturbs your peace, asks you to sacrifice your peace, it is not worth it!
If nothing else, remember UGK: Keep your heart, Three-Sacks.