Why Can’t It Be You: The Fear Of Success

Let me put you up on game.

The biggest obstacle to any success to what you want to do, is you. In the AAVE, let me say it so all y’all understand:

“Sometime is aint cha own people, fam. Sometime it be you. Flatout.

There is something scary about doing something no one else it doing. There is something scary about changing your life and implementing new things. However, the thing that stops most people from changing their lives is what other people think, say or personal beliefs.

What I need you all to know is there will always be someone whom will have something to say about anything that you will do, dear one. There will be someone whom is not doing something–or anything!–that will have something to say about you doing anything!

This is the power of words! they are like icebergs on a dark oceans. Your being is a ship. You are able to avoid most of the icebergs, but some you hit! In the steering, if you have an able crew, you can patch these holes. You can pump out the water, and keep going. However, if you take enough hits, you will sink.

Some of us that aspire to do well, are determined to do so. The hits are expected. Not that we have a superpower, not that we are super resilient. We have decided to keep going, in spite of the hits. But there are those that see the life they want–yea, they see the life they desire!–and don’t make a movement towards it!

Why? Here is why.

Fear.

The need for acceptance is real. The need to belong is real. The need to be seen and loved is real! There are people whom sacrifice personal happiness because of what people think. It is more advantageous for them to please people than to pursue what makes them happy.

For every talent, for every skill, for every gift, you control how you express and utilize them. You should not have any aspect of yourself dictated to you by those whom don’t have any stake whom you are to become!

On the flipside, you have those whom are working in a field they have no passions for, and will not push towards what their heart wants. Even if they have a gift for it!

The fear of success is real!

The fear of success manifests as self-sabotage, anxiety, depression and even procrastination. There are people, myself included at points, whom fear what the top of the mountain looks like. When you have hustled and struggled for so long, it looks normal.

All the hustle, fighting, trauma, grinding becomes normal. It’s easy to know your talented and never do anything with it–it’s being a big fish in a little pond. It’s different to leave that sphere of influence and reach towards what it is you want–or know you want to do.

I can only speak about me, though. Before I launched this platform I was afraid. I was legitimately afraid! I thought of 100+ ways why this would fail. I knew that I could write, but it was easy to say “I know I can write”, than to confront the forces that make me not write.

It is easy to list all the reasons why I couldn’t do something.

It was easy to leave the drafts unfinished.

It was easy to leave poems unwritten.

It was easy to look at what I wanted, to talk about it, rather than to run after it.

It was easier to stay safe.

The question that I have for you, is it it really better to stay safe? Or is it better to go after what you want? The worst that could happen is you miss.

But you will always miss if you never try.

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