Come As You Are, As You Were

This is the time of year where we reflect, remember and try to reconcile. Earlier this year, we did Letter To Our Younger Selves. In keeping with this season of reflection, the lovely Shauncea, has thoughts she would love to share for this holiday season. Be blessed to grow. -JBHarris

Dear 25,

Change is inevitable, darling. Change will come. For better, for worse; know that nothing is insurmountable because EVERYTHING changes.
 Regardless of the situation sis, everything is going to be alright.

I always hated hearing that when I discussed  life and issues with people they would always say, “You’ll be okay” or, “Everything will work out”.  It used  to infuriate me because I always felt dismissed or like I was begging people to legitimize my pain and struggles–by acknowledging that it was indeed a struggle and that life gets hard. Instead, I felt like I was being told to “Get over it! Be quiet! It can’t be that bad.”  Except, sometimes, life does get that bad. 


Occasionally, life gives you a backpack full of stones, pokes you in your eyes and throws you into a tunnel going uphill. Life gets AWFUL!
When it’s awful? You get scared, depressed and desperate.

Then, the stones tear your backpack. They all fall out and your bag is useless. You feel defeated. You want to hang it all up.  I think that’s normal. I think when everything is bad, we tend to look and think in extremist terms. It’s  normal to overlook the light at the end of the tunnel when life has popped out your eyes.

We tend to overlook the tiny changes that lead to larger transformations of self and circumstance.  Yeah, you lost your backpack. But! Now, you don’t have to carry those stones. That burden has been lifted. Your eyes hurt, but they’re healing! Your load is lighter, so keep walking. The journey itself is a change each step  forward is a change in your circumstance. Each step forward brings you one step closer to the light, one step closer to the end of that tunnel.


Everything changes.

It’s not always about the arduous nature of your journey. Sometimes the lesson is ’just keep walking’. Just put 1 foot in front of the other- choose to keep walking until something changes. Patience is not, and never has been, your strong suit but stow the bullshit.

Keep walking.

Force yourself to take one step at a time one day at a time and you will reach the end of that tunnel.  Your path will change . Your circumstances will change. Life will change.

And so, baby girl, embrace patience. Embrace the truth of inevitable change! Know that things may not always get better soon, but they will change. Change ushers in ’better’. Your journey may be long and hard but you will be OK even when everything is awful because in no time at all you’ve taken two steps and something Has already changed.

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