In the age of pandemic and police brutality, this Father’s Day feels different. It is different! It is easy this day, this holiday, to do the normal:
Give the cards. Make the meals. Let Papa Bear sleep. Visit the grave. Write the deep Facebook posts, or other goofy things on social media.
Those things are expected.
Yet. Here we are.
For this reason, for this cause, I feel that I must remind you that nothing about what we are going through is normal. Nothing about it is controllable–to any degree. But this, this Father’s Day, let me say three things. From these three things, my hope, my dear Torches, on this Father’s Day you glean something to be encouraged.
One: You are valued. Fathers are needed. Fathers are necessary. Never be tricked out of your position in the life of your child, and your family. It was never meant for something as hard raising children to be done without you. Don’t run because it’s hard! Don’t be afraid! Stay, because it is harder to leave. Abandonment is never the answer. There are people depending on your ability to stay when it is easier to go. If no one has told you today, for this reason, you are valued. You are doing the best you can–daily. And that is enough. For that, thank you.
Two: You are needed. I know the news tells you that men aren’t valued. I know the news is so good at displaying the bodies of Black men with the casualness of Christmas presents, but you are needed. You are needed, you are necessary! Do not allow the world to tell you what you are not–or tell you want you can (or cannot) become. You are allowed to dream, to be succeed, and do as the gifts inside of you dictate. Be proud of who are! Be ashamed of nothing you have survived! Impart what has saved your life, changed it or made it better. Do it! Why? It may save the life of someone else. For that, thank you.
Three: Keep going. I want you to remember to take care of yourself. I want you to remember that life is a marathon, do not be resigned to live it as a sprint! I want you to remember the disappointments, but not be trapped by them. I want you, today, to think about the things you want to change! I don’t want you to beat yourself up one more day about what you haven’t done, should have done, might have been or reconsider the what-ifs! I want you to remember where you came from, accept where you are, and decide to keep going. I don’t want you to stop because of circumstances. I don’t want you to quit your dreams because its hard! I don’t want you to think your destiny is the end of the gun, police brutality or the romanticizing of the ‘hood! I want you to see your life, your destiny, see you as the King you are! There are not limits for you! Through your determination, you are breaking curses, you are changing the courses of other people, and you are affecting all you touch! The power to change is YOURS. You are not a victim! You are not determined by your circumstances! You are able to become all you desire and there are no limits on what you want from this life.
Teach the Princes how to be Kings.
Teach the Princesses how Queens are treated.
With that, Happy Father’s Day!