Being an adult is not for the week.
The first time that I signed a lease, I was so excited! I was less excited when I got my first threat of eviction. The thing about this is adulting thing is that–it’s vicious! This has become that much more apparent since the pandemic started. There is nothing like trying to make ends meet (or even visible at this point!) and not being able to. There is nothing like trying to decide what to pay first: car note or rent. This is why I tell people that unless those in power have ever had to decide what they can go without in order to care for their children, or pawn something to pay something, or ever had to not pay rent in order to get to work or keep lights on, you can’t tell people nothing whom have had to do those things how lazy you think they are!
In my last relationship, that threat of being put out was constant. It was a fear that I couldn’t handle! His employment was steady, but his child support was insistent! It took half his check, and I was working 2 jobs, and we still got evicted! Poverty–there is nothing profitable to glamourous about this! Nothing! There is nothing sexy about a notice on your door and you have to take your children, all your own, and go somewhere else! Then, I still had to pay the $3000+ dollars I owed in back rent, I still had to pay! On top of the rent in the new place!
What the old folk never told you is that once you have gone through that, it still haunts you. No matter how you try and make sure you get caught up, or try to stay ahead–it’s there! That fear of rainbow paper on your door, mailbox, or calls from HR about how they are about to take the money that you work for. That fear? It gets bone deep!
Not even the ghostbusters can fix that.