Things Scarier Than Being Black: Running Out of Gas

I am a Black woman whom has lived in a violent major US city for my 40 years. I am a Black women with children, that are daughters. In my first marriage, my husband told me to not getting gas at night. But, I did. Why?

When I was a girl my father ran out of gas often.


I remember at least 3 times where he ran out of gas. And that feeling of being helpless and anxious. I have not been able to shake. The feeling of being left in a car with my siblings and cannot go anywhere–that stuck with me. It has stuck with me to the point that I have cried when my gaslight has come on before! That I have emergency gas money on my Apple Card!


I don’t want to be in that position where I don’t have gas, or can’t get gas. Or my children be in a position that I was, and helpless and anxious. I never want them for that. Not at all. I know that was years ago, and it has been a long time since I was that 9-10 year old girl. However, it is that 9,10-year-old girl that reminds the 40-year-old woman to keep emergency gas money in my wallet.

Just in case.

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