Things Scarier Than Being Black: Running Out of Gas

I am a Black woman whom has lived in a violent major US city for my 40 years. I am a Black women with children, that are daughters. In my first marriage, my husband told me to not getting gas at night. But, I did. Why?

When I was a girl my father ran out of gas often.

Often.

I remember at least 3 times where he ran out of gas. And that feeling of being helpless and anxious. I have not been able to shake. The feeling of being left in a car with my siblings and cannot go anywhere–that stuck with me. It has stuck with me to the point that I have cried when my gaslight has come on before! That I have emergency gas money on my Apple Card!

Why?

I don’t want to be in that position where I don’t have gas, or can’t get gas. Or my children be in a position that I was, and helpless and anxious. I never want them for that. Not at all. I know that was years ago, and it has been a long time since I was that 9-10 year old girl. However, it is that 9,10-year-old girl that reminds the 40-year-old woman to keep emergency gas money in my wallet.

Just in case.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.