Here we are guys! Christmas has come and after waiting in long grocery store lines, wrapping gifts and being kind-of-sort-of done with cooking, you are almost at the finish line. … Continue reading TIS THE SEASON: Don’t Worry! You Are Almost There
Can you believe it? This year has 29 days, and there are 29 days to the start of a new decade. But I want to take today to recognize not … Continue reading ‘Tis The Season
The government is still shut down. The ‘big, beautiful wall’ is not going to be built and this steel slats? They have already gotten a hacksaw put to them! There’s … Continue reading RUNITBACK FRIDAY- 01/11/2019
Change is the hardest and easiest thing to do as you get older. The one mantra that I try to abide by is something my mother told me when I … Continue reading The Capacity To Change & The People That Don’t.
First off– HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM THE IDEAL FIRESTARTER! Second, I want you all to know that I appreciate all of you whom come to this space to think, to … Continue reading HAPPY NEW YEAR! HAPPY 2019!
From the staff and administration of The Ideal Firestarter: Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! This December marks two years of me being at the helm of this blog and we are … Continue reading MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Imma need The Avengers to assemble because I am convinced #45 is in league with Thanatos and trying to take over the world! The White Wolf (Robert Mueller) needs to Voltron assemble and form the Blazing Sword and come on here! #80sKid #GoogleIt
#Resist #HowardUniversity #TheH #FunnyMoney #MonopolyMoney #ThisAintRight #FinancialAid #MessingUpPeoplesLives #BSOfStudentsOnFedAid #HUProtests #HBCUs #HBCUAlumni
Fire erre lass person IN the Financial Aid Office.
ERRE. LASS. ONE.
I touched on this LAST WEEK and THIS WEEK? I had to spotlight Tyrone Hankerson, Jr: law student, embezzler and coonin’ for the ‘Gram. I can’t. The #HUResist Movement started in response to the scandal involving the embezzling of members of the Howard University Financial Aid Office and a student worker Mr. Tyrone “I’m Only About To Sit At A Bar Not For It” Hankerson, Jr.
This week? Let’s focus on the students! The real victims in this are them! The only reason I couldn’t go to the college I wanted was BECAUSE THERE WAS NO MONEY TO GO!
The students are demanding the President of the University be fired, and are occupying the Administration Building until their demands are met.
My heart breaks for them. I’m angry and we deserve better! So people get to steal Fed Aid from people who look like them on the age of draining the swamp during the reign of Devos?! Just checking.
#DevonteMatters #BlackChildrenMatter #DevonteHart #SierraHart #HannahHart #Adoption #EvilStepmothers #Why #HeartBreak #WhereAreTheConsequences #BlackLives #BlackLiveMatter #BlackLife
Adoption is always an option, people in pro-life arenas say. There is no need to endure the shame of abortion, when adoption is an option. Now, where is the pro-life juggernaut for this? There are six children who are now dead because those charged with their care–haven’t/didn’t care for them. They drove them off a cliff into the infinity of the life beyond–because they could. They were just little black kids. Who would miss them?
To this posting, the remaining three of the six Hart children have not been found: Devonte, 15, Hannah, 16 and Sierra, 12. It can be assumed they may never be. But the religious conservative right has been MUM on this! Did they not deserve advocacy and their right to life as well? Or are only American white children are granted those two things simultaneously?
We have to do better, y’all. We just have to.
There was a quiet about you that I don’t think many people know or knew. Few people knew that you really wanted a house, some land and somewhere to fish. Few people really know that you never really wanted anything bad to ever happen to me, and to us, did you?
In this the summer of the 6th year of being divorced, I can honestly say I no longer hate you. Whatever man you decide to become, you will remain it at this point. The only thing that I have asked is that you decide what type of father you want your daughters to remember you as. However, in that forging of raising them, I have dared ask myself the following:
“How did it all go so left?”
In asking that, I have to take ownership of what I allowed my part to become. We were young, we were 22 and 25. Here, I should have let you grow up. I should have seen where your head was at, and how you could maintain in times of crisis. I should have listened to the hitches in my spirit and not the words or actions you exhibited. I wanted someone that would protect and love me always. I don’t think you were prepared to that at 22. I should not have expected you to do that.
I should have been honest with you about the things that bothered me, the Shadow Work I had yet to do. I didn’t know how to be a wife to anyone, and was just learning at 25.
When our first was born when I was 26, the anchor I needed dropped, and I needed more from you. I needed security, and structure and permission to build with you without you thinking that I was trying to take over everything. I did it, everything that I did, because it had to be done. I could not trust you.
I should have allowed you to be the man you needed to be and not make you into the man I wanted.
I’ll say it again:
I should have allowed you to be the man you needed to be and not make you into the man I wanted. And for that, I am sorry.
There are incidents that will remain cloaked in history because of the children we must care for, however, I should have acknowledged that you weren’t ready for anything I offered, tried to offer or gave. You just weren’t ready, and I tried to make you be the husband I needed you to be–and I didn’t even know what that was or would look like.
*For the sake of the children we share, I have chosen not to reveal his real name. I met him when I was 24. I thought he was sweet because he was quiet. I was used to all these loud people trying to vie for my attention. I gravitated to him because he offered quiet. For those that have really weathered a storm alone, you value quiet. Just be mindful of whom you get shelter from.
Phillip…I love you.
I cannot express what you have brought to my world. I thank you for being able to an anchor amidst everything else swirling round about.
I want to thank you for all that you have done in the life of our children and our family. I thank you for being able to take the whelps of a Mother Bear, and raise them as your own blood. I thank you for all you have done.
I have watched you grow into fatherhood. I watched you go from timid to tender. I have watched you be able to discern what is an imaginary monsters in closets or bad days at school. I thank you for being the thunder in the room that puts to bed all that is unruly or flight what would cause nightmares.
I have watched you embrace this journey of being a married man with children. I have watched you grow up that much more. I have watched you put hands and thought to what it is you desire to build; fortify what it is you want no one to take. I have watched you realize that strength sometimes means apologizing, listening and allowing space for life to not be perfect. I have watched you become more intent on doing the right thing for the right time for the best outcome. I have watched you walk in whom you’re going to be.
I have been witness to you being a better husband. I have watched you wonder after me, wanting to know why I do what I do for you. I only respond, “…because I love you, and want you to be okay.” I have seen you pour pieces of yourself into me, and into our US…and even when it has not turned out how you wanted.
We decided that we wanted to ‘do life’ together, and there have been storms we have encountered that would have killed average people. Those storms have rocked the boat we were in to the point that it splintered, and all that was left to hang on to…was one another.
All that is still left to hold onto…is one another.
In all that we have, and all that we will maintain…you told me that I could hang on to you…and you to me.
On Father’s Day, I want to thank you for all you have done for us. When it was easier to leave, leave broken and resign to apathy.
Thank you for the fight, babe. Thank you for not succumbing to the fears passed down and on that would keep you planted in malice, suspicion and doubt. Thank you for being what is needed when the right thing isn’t easy…or always comfortable.
Thank you for letting me know how not to be strong all the time.
Thank you for showing our children that Daddies are human, and they need love and support too.
Thank you for showing the girls that the man that says they love them, must SHOW them.
Thank you for being able to see past the pretty, and love the woman beneath all of it.
Thank you for being able to take my hand, and hold it, when all the world gets dark and scary.
I love you.