Found Faithful

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My life at present is unbelievable.

From a quiet, daydreaming little girl to a lioness that preaches the living gospel of Jesus Christ, I would never have planned this for myself. Ever. And I write.

From this journey, I have met unbelievable people and been confronted with situations where my faith has been tried, questioned and subjected to further scrutiny.

It was at 16 when I told God I wanted to be a ‘mighty woman for Him.’ I had no idea what that meant or even what that demands of me still. The Holy Bible tells all those who believe they should have childlike faith.

After living past childhood and into adulthood? Sometimes this is the hardest thing to be asked. You believe but you have so many reasons not to believe anything besides what your eyes and hands validate.

However, there is one thing I strive to do in regards to life so far:  hold on to the childlike faith. 

The daily goal is to remember that my life is a process. I am responsible for my life and all decisions therein.

I hold on to this faith by belief. The belief that all that is happening to me is the tapestry that is me.

The strength I have found to continue, despite what may be happening, is found in that continuation. The motivation behind it is to be a better woman while trying to be the woman that God can use.

In that being used, I have to be willing to be separated from what it is that is comfortable, to be lonely and watched afar off. In that being used, I decide that nothing is worth deviating from the plan I have been set on.

It’s not worth deviation because of the valuable resource of time. The Bible tells us to be faithful over a few things, and He will make us ruler over much (Matthew 25:23).

I believe that God can indeed do all He promised me if I would believe and follow. That childlike faith is what makes everything I have encountered bareable.

Every time I wanted to quit, I found life impossible (or grief made it dark), or I didn’t believe anything else would happen for the better, my grip would loosen, but I couldn’t forget.

There is a portion of belief that requires discipline as patience. From that, all things can come.

I have decided it is better to believe in what shall come rather than focus on what will never fit. From that, I have the strength to keep going to see what the end shall be.

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Mike & Jemele & Me

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So…ESPN cowed.
The network with few female journalists and fewer journalists/anchors of color, cowed to the red meat-sated viewers who just wanted her to ‘shut up and stick to news.’

(Aight. Okay.)

So, she’s suspended for two weeks.

(Oh, word?)

Yet, her co-host for The Six, Michael Smith, went with her.

(Waitamin…*record scratch*)


Yes, Michael Smith on the day her suspension was handed down did not host The Six with the co-host the network offered as a suitable stand-in.

What did our girl Jemele do to get all this tension and static? What all black women do when shenanigans is afoot:  SPEAK UP.

This was taken from http://www.variety.com, the article is dated October 10:

“…ESPN on Monday suspended Hill for two weeks. The move came in response to statements the anchor made on Twitter encouraging fans to apply pressure to NFL advertisers as a counter to mandates from owners of the Miami Dolphins and Dallas Cowboys that players stand during pregame performances of national anthem. The suspension came one month after ESPN became embroiled in controversy over a tweet by Hill calling President Donald Trump a white supremacist.”

So for resisting, Jemele was told by her employer to shut all that up. Call it what it is.

I don’t like it either.

However, what gave me hope, in this GOP Reign of madness, chaos and suffering? Michael “He just might make all this aight” Smith.


When he didn’t go on without her? All of me as a black woman was encouraged and strengthened. He’s hosting it solo.

Why is this?

He supported her.

This is one of those basic things that go into being a complete person:  receipt of support and deserving of respect.

This here? I was elated over.  We as black women sometimes eat each other alive before we support one another. Or that support isn’t what we’d hoped it would be from whom we wanted.

It was phenomenal to see him support her. PHENOMENAL. In the adversarial nature that can be male-female relationships, where support is rarely-traded commodity, the simple act of him saying to himself, “Nall, they ain’t about to do my girl like this and me not say nothing,” and put that into action?

Bruh.

Monumental.

It’s not about who I’d always have in front in matters of support, but who will have your back when the knives and flames reach there while you stand in the front for and with everyone else.

The world needs more Mikes.

Faithful Servant 

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One of the toughest things in this life is to be loyal. The next thing, outside of loyalty, is to have that turn into faithfulness that will extend to another person or cause.

I have found such a cause in Christ and the service of His Church. I don’t run it;  I just have my one faction or department and do as best I can to do it as asked.

One of the most quoted scriptures about servanthood and faithfulness is found in the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 23, verse 11:


There is profound power in service. There is nobility in servanthood. There is an aversion to servanthood because it forces you to go outside of yourself and consider things and responsibilities which may not immediately benefit you.

In the satisfaction of the immediate, servanthood is seen as something to scowl at and look down your nose about. And to be asked to remain in a position that may not be beneficial or seen often? That’s hard for anyone to do, even those of the faith.

However, the key to this is faith and the strength to keep believing. Being faithful to anything demands you believe your involvement will be an asset—that there will be investment and dividends from it.

Being called a faithful servant requires stamina towards the goal of the vision you agreed to assist with.

The vision, the mission that I am involved with, is the The Great Commission—with the single goal being to tell everyone about the Gospel of Jesus Christ, no matter who or where they are.

The vision of servanthood in Christ involves, and can never be separated from, belief on something outside of yourself which is independent of all the people that believe otherwise.

I want to be able to continue to commit my life to this service. I want to be transparent in that service, admitting when and why I messed up as well as what motivated me not to quit when life would have been easier had I done so.

Faithful servanthood doesn’t require perfection; it requires presence and persistence. It requires humility to do what needs to be done if no one but you knows or sees it. It requires a disciplined grace to grant forgiveness to people who aren’t aware of what you are assigned to do as well as the dedication to fulfill it.

Hands can always find something to do, but you will have to want to do it…even when you can’t tweet about it.

#PuertoRicoStrong

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If I wasn’t alive to see it, I’d swear it was a lie.

An annexed American territory since 1898, the citizens given American citizenship in 1917, has citizens dying of cholera because there is not enough access to clean drinking water. The other disease caused by dirty water is dysentery. If there is no clean water, you can bet there is no sanitation. If there is no sanitation, rampant disease outbreaks follow.

It is 2017.

We have access to the iPhone 8 and X next month, but no nobody on and in a US Territory has access to correct temperature insulin. Like…I can’t!


This impostor, 45, went to the country and made matters that much worse. He lives for photo ops, extraneous bullshit, and random confusion. Throwing paper towels at people, looking like he could care less, and then threatening to pull supplies and manpower from a territory devastated by a natural disaster on your watch? Plus it’s now going into a MONTH after Hurricane Maria hit for this half-assed response?

You cannot tell me this isn’t motivated by money and race. The mayor of a US City is being broadcast on its nation’s same broadcasting services begging for help, and to be given TWEETS about how that nation needs to pay its debt and that “they can’t get help forever”?

If I wasn’t alive to see it, I’d swear it was all a lie. 

The current President of these dissociated Unites States is a racist, fueled by avarice and the worst kind of indifferent malice. He has become drunk on the hype that being white, ‘wealthy’ and affluent has afforded him. But the emperor is naked.

The emperor is naked. 

But the worst part? When he is told he is naked, you’re the liar. The GOP is standing by watching Nero burn Rome, but, because nothing is affecting them and the erasure of the previous president is a life goal, they don’t give a damn.

Even if people die while Rome is burning.


*People are mad that Lin-Manuel Miranda said 45 is going to Hell over what he’s done. The worst thing? The President doesn’t care. Please consider giving to the relief effort in Puerto Rico. Thank you.

Sounds Of Silence 

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“Who run the world? Girls!”

-Beyoncé Knowles Carter

I saw this hashtag on Twitter Friday morning as I was letting my less-than-140 characters be known. This boycott was in the indomitable and beautiful Kerry Washington’s timeline, along with the ever vigilant Alyssa Milano’s.

This boycott came about because Twitter suspended the account of actress Rose McGowan because she said something the gods of Twitter didn’t like in regards to men and sexual assault.

Yet, there are women verbally assaulted on Twitter all the time. And we have a president that grabs pussy.

Okay, Twitter. Okay.


I’m a writer; words are what I do. I am a woman. Society, compiled with regular life, tries to take my words (and the thoughts which power them) from me on a daily basis. I did not participate in this boycott because as a woman of color, especially one that uses her words as weapons and her vocabulary as a prolific arsenal, I don’t have an option to shut up.

“If you remain silent about your pain, they will kill you and say you enjoyed it.”

-Zora Neale Hurston

I support any woman that is sentient and salient about the reality round about her. I support any woman whom saw it as duty to boycott Twitter or to yell from keyboards. That is not the debate.
I didn’t participate because I have too much to say, and by God, black women are silenced enough. I’m not going to go and shut up willingly.

The world is too askew to take a day off. The world is too obsessed with avarice to not be vigilant. The world is too rife with the demolition of self on all fronts to not sound the alarm.

Nah, I’m not going to shut up. Imma show up. I will not shrink or go away. The world will deal with me.

2017 LIEBSTER AWARD 

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This is surreal!

This virtual award is given/presented given to bloggers by bloggers to boost their viewership. Liebster is a German word meaning sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, pleasant, valued, cute, and welcome.

I want to thank the beautiful Chelsea Elliot of N. Chi’s World (http://www.nchisworld.com, on Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/nchisworld.com for her nomination for this award. If you haven’t done so, visit her site and be reminded of the dynamic nature of your own self! We as women sometimes are the hardest critics of ourselves and the last priorities of the endless lists of our own making. I thank you, Chelsea, and wish you continued success and blessings!
Before getting to the nitty-gritty, there is a fun portion of the award acceptance where you have to tell 10 random facts about yourself, so here goes.

  1. My middle name was taken from the soap opera Falcon Crest.
  2. One of my favorite actors is/was Phillip Seymour Hoffman.
  3. I love ancient history.
  4. I learned classic mythology before traditional fairytales.
  5. My favorite movie is Carmen Jones.
  6. I took 3 years of high school Spanish.
  7. I keep food in my purse.
  8. I am a blerd (Black Girl Nerd).
  9. I learned to read at 4.
  10. My favorite books of the Bible are the Gospel of Luke, Esther and 1 Samuel. (I once wanted to be a nun.)

My favorite blog that I love (other than this one, which I encourage you to follow!) is Black Girl Nerds (http://blackgirlnerds.com). When I first became exposed to social media and garnered more interest in the communities exposed therein, I came across Black Girl Nerds on Twitter.  I was amazed because this was something I longed for as a quiet, awkward black girl in public school in St. Louis, MO.

I loved the topics and the live-tweeting of geeky television shows, and the podcast just made me happy. I cannot express how thrilled I am that this site exists and that I’m alive to see it. As a black woman that writes, I cannot help but beam every time the newsletter appears in my inbox. Black Girl Nerds helps me to remember the portion of myself that still cheers at every Marvel-themed movie or new book that comes out or when #DemThrones is on. It reminds me to keep being playful, not childish.
RULES AND OVERVIEW:

This is a Award is voluntary, and nominated blogs* must adhere to the following (taken from theglobalaussie.com):

Back in 2011 the rules were a simple case of acknowledgement of the nominator and to nominate 5 more. Now in 2017 it is a little more involved and will continue to evolve as blogging becomes more accessible.

If you have been nominated for The Liebster Award AND YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT, write a blog post about the Liebster award in which you should do the following:
Thank the person who nominated you, and put a link to their blog on your blog. Try to include a little promotion for the person who nominated you. They will thank you for it and those who you nominate will also help you out as well.

Display the award on your blog — by including it in your post and/or displaying it using a “widget” or a “gadget”. (Note that the best way to do this is to save the image to your own computer and then upload it to your blog post.) At the bottom of this post, I’ve included a whole lot of images you can use for your 2017 Liebster Award.

For the 2017 Liebster Award, I will be shaking things up! Write a 150-300 word post about your favourite blog that is not your own. Explain why you like the blog, provide links.

Provide 10 random facts about yourself. (This year I’m making this optional. If you wish to engage with your readers it’s a great idea to include random facts about you.)

Nominate 5 – 11 blogs that you feel deserve the award, who have a less than 200 followers. (Note that you can always ask the blog owner this since not all blogs display a widget that lets the readers know this information!)

List these rules in your post (You can copy and paste from here or simply link to this post.) Once you have written and published it, you then have to:

Inform the people/blogs that you nominated that they have been nominated for the Liebster award and provide a link for them to your post or mine if you don’t have all the information so that they can learn about it (they might not have heard of it).

Nominated Blogs:

 Kimberly Thomas Harvell- Autism Mom With A Masters (http://asdmommed.com)

Breanna Edwards-Brecapri (http://brecapri.com)

Tiffany Bivins-Words By Tiffany (http://wordsbytiffany.com)
Ijoema Hadassah Regala-For Brown Moms (http://brownmomrising.com)

Marissa Southards- The Awakenings Project (http://theawakeningsproject.wordpress.com)
Rules for accepting:
*Taken from http://theglobalaussie.com –

What to Do if Nominated for the Liebster Award

Back in 2011 the rules were a simple case of acknowledgement of the nominator and to nominate 5 more. Now in 2017 it is a little more involved and will continue to evolve as blogging becomes more accessible.
If you have been nominated for The Liebster Award AND YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT, write a blog post about the Liebster award in which you should do the following:
Thank the person who nominated you, and put a link to their blog on your blog. Try to include a little promotion for the person who nominated you. They will thank you for it and those who you nominate will also help you out as well.

Display the award on your blog — by including it in your post and/or displaying it using a “widget” or a “gadget”. (Note that the best way to do this is to save the image to your own computer and then upload it to your blog post.) At the bottom of this post, I’ve included a whole lot of images you can use for your 2017 Liebster Award.

For the 2017 Liebster Award, I will be shaking things up! Write a 150-300 word post about your favourite blog that is not your own. Explain why you like the blog, provide links.

Provide 10 random facts about yourself. (This year I’m making this optional. If you wish to engage with your readers it’s a great idea to include random facts about you.)

Nominate 5 – 11 blogs that you feel deserve the award, who have a less than 200 followers. (Note that you can always ask the blog owner this since not all blogs display a widget that lets the readers know this information!)

List these rules in your post (You can copy and paste from here or simply link to this post.) Once you have written and published it, you then have to:

Inform the people/blogs that you nominated that they have been nominated for the Liebster award and provide a link for them to your post or mine if you don’t have all the information so that they can learn about it (they might not have ever heard of it! Post a comment in the comments below so I can view your post and check out your blog. I personally visit each and everyone. I visited a few hundred last year!!

If you have been nominated before at any time please share the love. Many people believe the Liebster award is similar to a chain email/letter and sure it shares similarities but the underlining idea is to help promote each others’ blogs.

The Strength To Wonder

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There is a portion of faith that is driven solely by imagination.  Even the Scriptures remind us to ask for what we want, not doubt, and to believe that we have what we ask for even as we ask for it.

Sometimes, as adults, that is a constant reminder of the necessity of having child-like faith:  it’s the coin of the realm of belief. Sometimes in order for new things to happen, believing that they will is the first step.

However, there is an esoteric nature to telling what you want or need to the Creator, to a High Power, the Almighty.  While doing so, have the audacity to believe that the being, with all power to sustain full utilization of the universe seen and unseen, will acknowledge you. From that acknowledgment, He will answer you in accordance to the greater plan and purpose for your life.

Incredible.


What I have found, especially in the position in Christian ministry I occupy, is that sense of hope and wonder you fight to maintain. You fight to maintain it because the onslaught of the world contends with you to siphon out any sense of love, hope, faith or wonder.

It is by hope that we can we believe and seek the better. However, if we cannot see the better, no hope exists. If there is no hope that exists, there can be nothing else that will exist outside of it.


In the space which God’s grace allows me to occupy, I have learned to maintain that sense of hope—from it, I cultivate gratitude. I am grateful for the minuscule and the grand because my hope lies in the sustainer of all those things given to me.

It is in that hope that I can and do wrap myself when life becomes overwhelming.  In that time away from the diverse temptations of the world, I get to see as children do again:  the world as open and accessible. I get to ask for what I want, beyond a Santa Claus capacity.  The relationship forged in those moments results in an intimacy incomparable.

It is the intimacy that grants me strength to believe for better and know that better will come. With the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune accosted as an affront to my person daily, I am settled to know I don’t walk through this life alone.

Even if I were to give in to that, as I sometimes have, I am reassured it is only for a short time—and He whom sustains the world by desire of thought is never far from me…neither will He take me where He cannot be, for that is not His nature.

Of this knowledge, in this space, I can recite one of the first scriptures I had ever learned, from the book of Esther 4, verse 14 (I learned it in the King James Version):