Yes, #Torches! In the matter of a month, we are doing 28 (29) Days of Blackness for the month of February! This got so much support and love last year, … Continue reading 2020 Overview: 28 (29) Days Of Blackness
Time is most irrecoupable thing you have. You are granted so much of it, waste it, and then there is no more of it. In being able to love yourself, the hardest part of loving yourself is being able to forgive yourself. There is no one whom can punish and hate you like you can yourself. We are often strong enough to lash out at other people, but are we strong enough to not lash inward?
We lash out, hate ourselves often over lost time. Realizing you have invested into something which is ultimately squandered, is hard. The hardest thing is to admit it was you whom squandered, you who didn’t listen, and it is now you that must fix it. However, in that honesty, you still cannot save or regain the time you have lost.
This is the hardest thing. It is so difficult because we as people want so badly to save things, hoard them, use them as we see fit–time is not one of those things. Time is the thing we hustle for, grab it, and lose for the lack of paying attention.
In forgiving yourself, you allow yourself to see there are two points of time along this journey. There is the time you lost, and the time you now have. Which direction shall you go?
In choosing to remain fixed on what is lost, and cannot be changed, you will never be able to see what lies before you in the time you have. Forgiving yourself is the beginning of readjusting our focus. It begins to allow you to see the situation in which you lost time as an experience you learned from, will learn from and not to do again.
Forgiving yourself allows you to heal from that loss of time and self.
By no means is this easy, I promise you it isn’t. But in order for you to go on and go greater things, you must be willing to admit where you are benefits nothing. Being resentful of lost time only makes you lose more time.
You are entitled to having a history.
However only you are doomed to repeat it.
This year has been one of total preparation. It has been twelve months which have tested and confirmed the best and worst of all of us and for all of us. This entire year has either been a confirmation or preparation.
The country is being thrown into a meat grinder, the survivors into a Brazen Bull, and all witnesses to justice thrown from a cliff as the Emperor Caligula’s uncle, Germanicus, did: for amusement.
This being one of last two blogs I shall write for this year, I write from the vantage point of vigilant hope. The woman I call Mother Oracle or Grandmother Oracle, Maya Angelou, said when someone shows you who they are, believe them.
This election, the result, the dismantling of legacies, the erasure of progress, the erecting of the resurrection of every demon conjured by Confederate ancestry–it has been enough to make one utterly give up. It is enough to make sure your heart remains broken and eyes more comfortable closed.
As you watch this year close and the year before you open–be mindful of these things, these people: the heart breakers, the liars, those whom left as swift as they entered your life. Those whom shunned your apologies, dismissed your purpose, challenged ideals you held, and thought nothing of what you would become after all had been taken from you.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
I am fond of saying this, “Anger is fruitless lest but towards a positive purpose.” You can be mad, but what are you going to do when you stop being mad? Will you stop being mad, can you stop being mad?
There are times in this life where it is imperative to know what is you want, why you want it, and what you will allow to stop you. One of my favorite scriptures is from the Apostle Paul. He says this in the book of Hebrews, and in times of heartbreak and frustration, I gather strength from it:
As you determine your course along this life, you will be convinced and confronted to hold on to things and people which no longer suit you, aid you, profit you or add to you. There will be and are times where it is easier to carry what is bitter and sour than to let go of these same things in order to heal, be better and run faster. Being able to admit that which does not suit you allows you to own all what you will become.
Being able to allow into your life and limit negativity yields the medicine of peace. Releasing those whom desire to bring energy and situations to your life set to overwhelm and hinder you is a protection of your sanity.
These types of weights settle in your heart, these type of people bring you shadows where there was light to adequately see their intent. In times of transition, like the ending of a year, it gives you pause to decipher the motives of other people as well as your desire to be what it is you desire. Do not be dissuaded from what you want.
Do not be dissuaded from what you want.
In not allowing these weights to persist, you make the decision to grow. You decide the formation of the self you shall become is worthy of torturous waiting. The dirty truth is, beloved, it is work to become. You must work in the waiting. There is work to become, and sometimes–this involves waiting.
The year of 2017 has four days remaining. Take this time to consider what you will hold onto, let go of and need to find solace or more of in the year to come. Why? Not everything, nor everyone, is suited to accompany you on your journey. Don’t fear this. Even if you have only you to go–that is enough.
You are enough…rest in that.