“I will come in, and leave, as power.” -JBHarris, 2019 Dear Mrs. Harris: Oracle. Teacher. Voice. Author. Blogger. I am proud of you, Sis! Look at you! Writing, and schmoozing, … Continue reading On The Backside Of Vision
First off– HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM THE IDEAL FIRESTARTER! Second, I want you all to know that I appreciate all of you whom come to this space to think, to … Continue reading HAPPY NEW YEAR! HAPPY 2019!
Time is most irrecoupable thing you have. You are granted so much of it, waste it, and then there is no more of it. In being able to love yourself, the hardest part of loving yourself is being able to forgive yourself. There is no one whom can punish and hate you like you can yourself. We are often strong enough to lash out at other people, but are we strong enough to not lash inward?
We lash out, hate ourselves often over lost time. Realizing you have invested into something which is ultimately squandered, is hard. The hardest thing is to admit it was you whom squandered, you who didn’t listen, and it is now you that must fix it. However, in that honesty, you still cannot save or regain the time you have lost.
This is the hardest thing. It is so difficult because we as people want so badly to save things, hoard them, use them as we see fit–time is not one of those things. Time is the thing we hustle for, grab it, and lose for the lack of paying attention.
In forgiving yourself, you allow yourself to see there are two points of time along this journey. There is the time you lost, and the time you now have. Which direction shall you go?
In choosing to remain fixed on what is lost, and cannot be changed, you will never be able to see what lies before you in the time you have. Forgiving yourself is the beginning of readjusting our focus. It begins to allow you to see the situation in which you lost time as an experience you learned from, will learn from and not to do again.
Forgiving yourself allows you to heal from that loss of time and self.
By no means is this easy, I promise you it isn’t. But in order for you to go on and go greater things, you must be willing to admit where you are benefits nothing. Being resentful of lost time only makes you lose more time.
You are entitled to having a history.
However only you are doomed to repeat it.
Power is to whom you give it. There comes a time in this life where you will be forced to evaluate whom has power over you, and why.
Outside from the agencies whose existence is based in protection, there those in your life whom will try and tell you their intent is of a similar ilk.
This power, this influence, for the most part is wielded by people in your life whom only wish to see you win. It is wielded in benevolence, with courage and boldness to remind you of whom you are and can become.
However, more often than not this influence roots and lingers in under the beds Shakespeare says are crowded. This is from the people closest to us whom have seen us at a point of weakness–rather than helping us, they tell is what we did wrong, always do or will never do right.
They become evil sooth-sayers, casting hexes of discontent, bitterness, jealousy and apathy over all those in their pathways. They will tell you these things as if you have no concept of your own self. They have not lived a life or had experiences where someone celebrated them, wanted to celebrate them or denied their existence.
These people can only give you what they have: nothing.
Every day you choose whom you will become. Each day you are given holds the potential to be life-changing. I don’t say this as if the world around you does not present or beset you with unique problems. I say this because no matter how big the problem is, you will always be larger than the problem. You determine what you determine.
Some things spoken over you may be hurtful, disguised help or frank opinion. You do not have to accept this, even from from the people you know or love.
You don’t have to accept poison as medicine or influence as a Gospel. You determine what will steer your life–nothing and no one else.
I am fond of saying the first 18 years of your life may not be under your control, but the rest of your life is. Uprooting the weeds in the garden of your heart and head is never easy, I assure you. It took me a decade to get over what my father had said about me writing as a career.
What helped me what the feeling I had when I wrote. The attention I got as a I wrote and now that feeling could not be replicated by anything else.
Choose what you will listen to that will shape and empower you. All you are exposed to indeed shapes you. What does not add to you will only steal and a chief thieves of joy ads competition and envy.
What shall you become once you decide who it is you are?
I have considered myself someone that has tried to matter. I have tried to support, be a support and to add love when need be. Just this past week, I was reminded that even though this life is mine, other people indeed see it.
I was watching a live YouTube video by a pretty well known personality (JahairasMission) and have been a fan of hers for some time (read: years). I would leave encouraging comments and real speak. I celebrated with her, cried with her and watched her just blossom in the midst of crazy.
I logged on (it was a live chat) and I logged in like 10 minutes into the broadcast. I didn’t think she would notice me (she has like 2000 some-odd subscribers). She said about 2 minutes after, “Omigod y’all my sister just logged in! *TheLadyHarris!” And she proceeded to tell the entire viewing audience that she loved me and was thankful for me.
I legit had to listen to the video 3 times after that to make sure I wasn’t crazy.
I was humbled. I was amazed and I really didn’t think I had done something great to be acknowledged let alone called a sister by someone I didn’t know.
Why that is important?
It matters not just why you live, but how you live. It matters if you sow love or dischord. It matters if you affirm or destroy. It matters that people see you struggle–and overcome. It matters if you let the light die in you or beam from you. It matters.
Your life is, this life is, a complex set of experiences and parameters. These experiences and their results are akin to the stands of cobwebs…it touches everything else. In the inadvertent, it still touches. And those touches, touch someone else.
Never think that whom you touch doesn’t realize it. Some of the WHY it is you’re here, is dependent on who touched you–some are more far reaching than others.
*-Yes, this is my YouTube handle. The channel is currently being developed. Thank you.